Tag Archives: Charles_HRH

On Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix

Posted on July 22, 2013 | 8 comments

9 months. 9 sodding months William and Kate have had to wait for their first child. Disgraceful. Quite frankly, this is the last time they’ll be using the NHS. Continue reading →

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Posted in Royalty

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Wimbledon

Posted on July 7, 2013 | 1 comment

The yearly tennis competition that decides whether Andy Murray is British or Scottish. Although after the independence referendum, he could be permanently Scottish whether he wins or loses. Continue reading →

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Doctor Who and the Daleks

Posted on July 4, 2013 | Leave a comment

Royal visit to Wales. One initally thought one was visiting a little town called Llanthwgcyrigabreth before realising the tour guide had a hair in his mouth.  Continue reading →

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Royal Ascot

Posted on June 22, 2013 | 3 comments

Royal Ascot week. One’s bookmaker phoned early to let one know that they’ve changed the race conditions this year. Instead of “soft, good to firm and firm”, they’re using “rare, medium rare and well done”. Continue reading →

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Royal Baby Bump

Posted on May 31, 2013 | 10 comments

Just over a month until the arrival of the Royal baby, which one can confirm has been growing faster than the economy. Continue reading →

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One’s letter to Kim Jong-un

Posted on March 30, 2013 | 4 comments

Dearest Leader of North Korea,

This is a letter from someone who is deeply concerned about your recent actions.

One can understand the frustration that your career has taken a downward spiral since appearing in The Hangover films. It surely isn’t helping your already deflated self-esteem that the South Korean, PSY, has taken over the YouTube charts, and launched a totally-idiotic new dance phenomenon. Continue reading →

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Posted in Letters

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No, Camilla, Abu Qatada is not “a song from The Lion King”

Posted on March 27, 2013 | 1 comment

Absolutely sodding freezing. Might import some sunshine from Cyprus, who appear to be having a half price sale at the moment.

David Miliband phoned to say he’s leaving the Labour Party to spend less time with his family. He’s decided to join an organisation called International Rescue. From one bunch of puppets to another. He really must’ve pulled a few strings to land that job. Continue reading →

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Posted in Politics

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One’s letter to Pope Francis I

Posted on March 16, 2013 | 2 comments

Dear Jim Bowen Jorge Mario Beergoggles Pope Francis I,

One would like to extend many congratulations on your election as the new head of the Catholic Church. Of course, this isn’t the first time an Argentinian has won through the hand of God. Continue reading →

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Posted in Letters

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Bieber Diva

Posted on March 10, 2013 | 5 comments

Justin Bieber arrived in the capital for his O2 Arena tour. He’ll never know how close he came to having a tour of the Tower of London dungeons, let alone the O2 Arena. Continue reading →

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Pope Idol

Posted on February 28, 2013 | 5 comments

Pope Benedict XVI has officially given up religion for Lent. One can confirm that his resignation has nothing to do with the rumour that the body of Christ was found in a ready meal.
Continue reading →

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Posted in International

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