The yearly tennis competition that decides whether Andy Murray is British or Scottish. Although after the independence referendum, he could be permanently Scottish whether he wins or loses.
This year’s tournament was full of surprises. Many favourites were eliminated early, Andy Murray won and the British Summer included sunshine.
Rafael Nadal was beaten by Steve Darcis in the first round, who was forced to quit due to injury. Most presumably because he was suffering from post-Nadal depression. Roger Federer was also eliminated. Can one make it any easier for Murray to win for a sodding change?
Text from Roger Federer: “Bollocks”.
Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova also caught early flights home from London. Most men watching tennis aren’t necessarily focusing on the sport itself anyway.
In the semi final, Andy Murray beat a giant Pole called Jerzy Janowicz. Camilla says in her day that was called swing ball. Not answering her. Janowicz complained that the roof on Centre Court weren’t closed yet, despite the fact that there was still an hour of light left. Typical, Great Britain waits years for a Wimbledon tournament with sunshine rather than rain and some moron wants to block it out. Daylight robbery. Although, one suspects he just wanted to admire his countryman’s handy work.
Novak Djokovic in the final game. Alex Salmond text before the game started to ask if Scotland can have their independence if Murray wins. Decided to ignore it. One learnt quite a few things during the game:
- A swan can break your arm
- Mr Cameron needs more work
- Camilla fancies Bradley Cooper
- Wayne Rooney has more bald patches than Centre Court
- Andy Murray can actually play tennis
Andy Murray made history by becoming the first Brit in 77 years to win the Wimbledon trophy. Congratulations from the British Royal Family. Although, we’re not entirely bothered with the lack of wins, because with strawberries at £5 each, we’re making all that prize money back.[tweet https://twitter.com/Charles_HRH/status/353913705366421505 width’300′]