Tag Archives: Royal

One’s Crowning Glory – King Charles III Coronation

Posted on May 6, 2023 | Leave a comment

74 years in the making, but one thing we couldn’t prepare for was the rain pissing on one’s parade. Sent a text to the Pope this morning to see if anything could be done, but still waiting for an answer. It’s hard to defend the faith with this weather.

Continue reading →

Leave a comment

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Fresh Prince

Posted on January 10, 2023 | 2 comments

Now, this is a story all about me

The Fresh Ginger Prince of British Royalty

And I’d like to take a moment of your time

Just sit right there

I’ll tell you how I became the Fresh Prince of Spare Heir

Continue reading →

2 Comments

Posted in The Fresh Prince of Spare Heir - Prince Harry's Diary

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Prince of Hearts – eBay Listing

Posted on January 6, 2023 | Leave a comment

The dream of becoming a Princess is alive and well for many husband-hunters as I’ve been named the world’s most eligible bachelor.

Place your bids now. (Not accepting Euros)

Continue reading →

Leave a comment

Posted in The Fresh Prince of Spare Heir - Prince Harry's Diary

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

King Charles III of Twitter’s Christmas Message 2022

Posted on December 25, 2022 | 2 comments

Christmas is a time when we are reminded that no matter what difficulties we face in our daily lives, there’s almost always people worse off than us. And they’re usually French. It is a time for firsts, as this will be our first Christmas without one’s dear mummy and papa. Queen Elizabeth II reigned over us for 70 glorious years, having met 15 different UK Prime Ministers. It’s entirely possible one could beat that record by Christmas 2023!

Continue reading →

2 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One’s letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II (mummy)

Posted on September 9, 2022 | 6 comments

How did you make it look so easy for over 70 years? One’s been King for 5 mins, and doesn’t know if one’s on his head or his arse. And don’t mention those bloody ink pens…

It’s poetically fitting your last act and duty was to tell Boris Johnson to piss off, and to ensure he was no longer in power. We all admire you for that alone.

Continue reading →

6 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Fifty Shades of Sue Gray – ‘Partygate’ report

Posted on January 29, 2022 | 1 comment

Here is an exclusive look at Sue Gray’s 1,865 paged report into the alleged parties at Downing Street. It would have been far easier for her to investigate the days there weren’t any parties.

The only party one will be having with Boris Johnson in attendance is his leaving party (tbc).

1 Comment

Posted in Politics

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Land of Soap and Glory

Posted on March 13, 2020 | 2 comments

Since the first signs of the deadly coronavirus from Wuhan, China in 2019, it’s all gone bat soup crazy! One can confirm that millions of ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ products sold in the last 20 years have done sweet FA.
Continue reading →

2 Comments

Posted in General

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Megxit means Megxit

Posted on January 13, 2020 | 8 comments

Harry and Meghan

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to ‘step down’ as ‘senior members’ of the British Royal Family, and split their time between the UK and Canada has come as a complete shock. No one has successfully managed to break up a powerful British group since Yoko Ono.  Continue reading →

8 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th Birthday

Posted on April 21, 2016 | 2 comments

Mummy is 90 years old today, showing no visible signs of ever slowing down.

She is the longest serving monarch in British history, having reigned on the throne for 64 years and 4 months (23,451 days, and 16 hours; roughly the length of an average game of Monopoly). The longest time one has spent on the Royal throne is approximately 45 mins, after eating a dodgy burger at the Middletons family gathering in 2011.

_44580601_charles_balm_royalcoll466 Continue reading →

2 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

The PM Factor and Results

Posted on May 6, 2015 | 1 comment

“Government – a collective group of people that exist for the purposes of increasing debt, widening the gap between the rich and poor, and funding world domination projects such as Europe. Newly elected Governments tend not to solve problems, only to rearrange them”

Continue reading →

1 Comment

Posted in Politics

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,