Tag Archives: Middleton

One’s letter to Princess Charlotte

Dear Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge,

Congratulations, you have just been born a Royal subject, On Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix, and have therefore won life’s lottery. Continue reading

One’s letter to Prince George

Dear Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge,

Welcome to the British Royal Family. You kept the whole world waiting, but then that is one of the privileges. Many people would kill to become part of the monarchy, and they have done in the past. One will read you a bedtime story about Great-Uncle Henry Tudor and Great-Uncle Richard III when you’re old enough to understand. Continue reading

On Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix

9 months. 9 sodding months William and Kate have had to wait for their first child. Disgraceful. Quite frankly, this is the last time they’ll be using the NHS. Continue reading

Royal Baby Bump

Just over a month until the arrival of the Royal baby, which one can confirm has been growing faster than the economy. Continue reading