Tag Archives: Johnson

One’s Coronavirus Speech 2020

30 days hath September, also June and November. All the rest have 31, except for March*, which has 175 days, and April, which will probably have even more, and one doesn’t even want to think about May. Continue reading

One’s letter to Archie Harrison

Dear Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor,

By the highest odds imaginable, you have avoided being conceived within an artificial sovereign family such as the Kardashians or the Beckhams, and have placed yourself in the covetable position of 7th in line* to the throne of the British Royal Family.

*And do trust one when I say, it’s a bloody slow moving line. Continue reading

The Darling Buddies of May

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“Your brother named his band after me”.

David Cameron phoned yesterday to say he “leaves Britain a much stronger country”. It’s his sense of humour one’s going to miss the most. He left 10 Downing Street for the last time at 16:48pm to receive his P45 from the Queen, only to return at 16:53pm after leaving one of his children behind.
Continue reading