Kate (your mummy) was expecting a very long labour process. Judging by one’s own experience, it normally takes 68+ years before the crowning begins, but you were delivered in no time at all. With your birth, Prince William (your daddy) has become a father for the third time. He needs all the heir he can get.
David Cameron phoned yesterday to say he “leaves Britain a much stronger country”. It’s his sense of humour one’s going to miss the most. He left 10 Downing Street for the last time at 16:48pm to receive his P45 from the Queen, only to return at 16:53pm after leaving one of his children behind. Continue reading →
Mummy is 90 years old today, showing no visible signs of ever slowing down.
She is the longest serving monarch in British history, having reigned on the throne for 64 years and 4 months (23,451 days, and 16 hours; roughly the length of an average game of Monopoly). The longest time one has spent on the Royal throne is approximately 45 mins, after eating a dodgy burger at the Middletons family gathering in 2011.
“Government – a collective group of people that exist for the purposes of increasing debt, widening the gap between the rich and poor, and funding world domination projects such as Europe. Newly elected Governments tend not to solve problems, only to rearrange them”
Christmas is a time for expensive traditions. Greeting cards for people you see every week, presents you don’t need/want, food that upsets your stomach, and decorations that are a fire hazard.
As the day rapidly approaches, many of you will be dreading spending time stuck in a house with your nearest and dearest, munching on the dried out bird that gets a good stuffing once a year. The key to getting through Christmas successfully is drinking the right amount of alcohol, without becoming violent, but enough to block out reality. Continue reading →
Yesterday, it was reported that one compared you to the most evil man in world history, Adolf Hitler, who would annex countries surrounding Germany for himself. You may refer to this as window shopping. Continue reading →
Welcome to the British Royal Family. You kept the whole world waiting, but then that is one of the privileges. Many people would kill to become part of the monarchy, and they have done in the past. One will read you a bedtime story about Great-Uncle Henry Tudor and Great-Uncle Richard III when you’re old enough to understand. Continue reading →