Tag Archives: Queen

One’s Coronavirus Speech 2020

Posted on April 5, 2020 | 3 comments

30 days hath September, also June and November. All the rest have 31, except for March*, which has 175 days, and April, which will probably have even more, and one doesn’t even want to think about May. Continue reading →

3 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Megxit means Megxit

Posted on January 13, 2020 | 5 comments

Harry and Meghan

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to ‘step down’ as ‘senior members’ of the British Royal Family, and split their time between the UK and Canada has come as a complete shock. No one has successfully managed to break up a powerful British group since Yoko Ono.  Continue reading →

5 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One’s 70th Birthday

Posted on November 14, 2018 | 13 comments

“Happy Birthday to One, Happy Birthday to One, Happy 70th Birthday His Royal Highness, Happy Birthday to One!”

2560

70 years old today, or 18 with 52 years worth of experience. It really does feel strange to be well and truly past retirement age without actually starting work yet. One’s entire life has been “your application is being processed”. Bloody hell, time flies when you’re royal. Continue reading →

13 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th Birthday

Posted on April 21, 2016 | 2 comments

Mummy is 90 years old today, showing no visible signs of ever slowing down.

She is the longest serving monarch in British history, having reigned on the throne for 64 years and 4 months (23,451 days, and 16 hours; roughly the length of an average game of Monopoly). The longest time one has spent on the Royal throne is approximately 45 mins, after eating a dodgy burger at the Middletons family gathering in 2011.

_44580601_charles_balm_royalcoll466 Continue reading →

2 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

One’s letter to Princess Charlotte

Posted on May 5, 2015 | 7 comments

Dear Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge,

Congratulations, you have just been born a Royal subject, On Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix, and have therefore won life’s lottery. Continue reading →

7 Comments

Posted in Letters

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Royal Flush

Posted on March 4, 2013 | 5 comments

Mother has returned home after staying in hospital with a stomach bug. She’d been on the throne all weekend. Quite frankly that’s the last time she’ll eat a sodding lasagne.  Continue reading →

5 Comments

Posted in Royalty

Tagged , , , ,