Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th Birthday

Mummy is 90 years old today, showing no visible signs of ever slowing down.

She is the longest serving monarch in British history, having reigned on the throne for 64 years and 4 months (23,451 days, and 16 hours; roughly the length of an average game of Monopoly). The longest time one has spent on the Royal throne is approximately 45 mins, after eating a dodgy burger at the Middletons family gathering in 2011.

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QUEEN ELIZABETH II FACTS:

  • Queen Elizabeth II has impersonated a number of famous people over the years and recently won an Academy Award for her interpretation of Helen Mirren in the film The Actress.
  • She is the only person in the United Kingdom who can display her Crown Jewels to the public without being arrested.
  • Wayne Rooney became England’s top scorer last year with 50 international goals, but mummy still has her own hair, so it’s actually 1-0 to the Royal Family.
  • She uses two different ringtones; Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen, and Smack My Bitch Up by Prodigy used personally for Mr Cameron.
  • She keeps herself fit and healthy by using the Royal Wii.
  • Her waxwork figure is often loaned out by Madame Tussauds to sit in the Royal Box during The Royal Variety Performance, whilst she stays home to watch Coronation Street. Prince Philip once spoke to it for a full 30 minutes before realising.
  • If you make fun of her on Twitter, you will be arrested, imprisoned in the Tower of London for six months, then shot.
  • She sucks on a fresh lemon during public appearances, to maintain the correct facial expression for well-wishers.
  • Queen Elizabeth II doesn’t carry any money, as it was assumed for years that her own likeness would have the same effect as giving a dog a mirror, causing a considerable amount of confusion.
  • She refers to the glue on the back of a postage stamp as ‘selfie stick’. Every time someone around the UK licks one, she scratches the back of her head.
  • She is/was The Stig.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Her Majesty cannot be seen from space.
  • Queen Elizabeth II owns all swans, is saved daily by God, can believe it’s not butter, doesn’t pay too much for her car insurance and hasn’t been involved in an accident that wasn’t her fault.

“God save the Queen”

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2 responses to “Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th Birthday

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  2. Have just watched Facebook with Prince Charles celebrating the Queens 90 yrs is it possible to obtain a copy of it for our family to keep please

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