74 years in the making, but one thing we couldn’t prepare for was the rain pissing on one’s parade. Sent a text to the Pope this morning to see if anything could be done, but still waiting for an answer. It’s hard to defend the faith with this weather.Continue reading
Category Archives: Royalty
How did you make it look so easy for over 70 years? One’s been King for 5 mins, and doesn’t know if one’s on his head or his arse. And don’t mention those bloody ink pens…
It’s poetically fitting your last act and duty was to tell Boris Johnson to piss off, and to ensure he was no longer in power. We all admire you for that alone.Continue reading
For over 65 years, one’s papa Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, had been the unwavering presence alongside Britain’s longest-serving monarch, who even referred to himself as the “world’s most experienced plaque unveiler.”Continue reading
30 days hath September, also June and November. All the rest have 31, except for March*, which has 175 days, and April, which will probably have even more, and one doesn’t even want to think about May. Continue reading
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to ‘step down’ as ‘senior members’ of the British Royal Family, and split their time between the UK and Canada has come as a complete shock. No one has successfully managed to break up a powerful British group since Yoko Ono. Continue reading
“Happy Birthday to One, Happy Birthday to One, Happy 70th Birthday His Royal Highness, Happy Birthday to One!”
70 years old today, or 18 with 52 years worth of experience. It really does feel strange to be well and truly past retirement age without actually starting work yet. One’s entire life has been “your application is being processed”. Bloody hell, time flies when you’re royal. Continue reading
Mummy is 90 years old today, showing no visible signs of ever slowing down.
She is the longest serving monarch in British history, having reigned on the throne for 64 years and 4 months (23,451 days, and 16 hours; roughly the length of an average game of Monopoly). The longest time one has spent on the Royal throne is approximately 45 mins, after eating a dodgy burger at the Middletons family gathering in 2011.
25th December is almost upon us. Black Friday has come and gone, although it really should be known as ‘Return The Absolute Crap You Bought Because It Doesn’t Work Monday’.
Christmas TV adverts seem to be popping up all over the place, though they are the most enjoyable part during The X Factor. They can’t come quick enough. Sainsbury’s appear to have triumphed this year by creating the World War I Christmas Day truce when both sides played a friendly game of football; no doubt the Germans won on penalties. Continue reading