One’s 70th Birthday

“Happy Birthday to One, Happy Birthday to One, Happy 70th Birthday His Royal Highness, Happy Birthday to One!”


70 years old today, or 18 with 52 years worth of experience. It really does feel strange to be well and truly past retirement age without actually starting work yet. One’s entire life has been “your application is being processed”. Bloody hell, time flies when you’re royal.

One told Camilla not to get anything too expensive for one’s birthday, so she bought Spain, which was nice. After all, it’s the thought that counts. William and Harry surprised one with a stripper hidden inside a giant cake, although one wishes they’d said something before cutting it with a sword.

At 1pm today, the Honourable Artillery Company Regiment completed a 62 gun salute at the Tower of London to celebrate the occasion. This was swiftly followed by 6,200 cannons aimed at the Brexit cabinet meeting at Downing Street.


It seems the older you become, the fewer birthday cards you get. One has only received a modest amount this year. 32,450 to be exact. Thankfully, Royal Mail have had 364 days to deliver them. Despite the reduction, it’s still very humbling to receive best wishes from all seven continents of the globe. Royalty from across the continent, figureheads, Wallace and Gromit (Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn), members of the general public, and the stars of music, stage, and screen annually send their birthday messages. One even receives a card from Moonpig, or Katie Price as she’s better known.

Pope Francis never forgets to send a card on special occasions, with a verse from the Bible handwritten inside. Have sent him a copy of one’s book, just in case he’s running out of new material.

One would like to thank you all for the birthday wishes on Twitter and Facebook,


13 responses to “One’s 70th Birthday

  1. marykayolivermiller

    Happy Birthday

  2. HRH Charle, Your HRH, happy birthday!
    I love reading your comments about “One” .
    I am just a poor Pennsylvania farmer’s wife.
    Your HRH, may I have the honor to receive a signed copy of your book? A signed letter & photo of you and Camille? Thank you in advance. I had failed back surgery in May. So, I cannot walk.
    Mailing address:
    Dona Feaster
    4851 Bedford Valley Rd
    Bedford, PA, USA

    God bless the Queen & HRH Charles.

  3. Hi Again YRH Prince of Wales
    Just a quick note- I hope you like puzzles because I’m working on a 40 biblical crossword puzzle book for you to relax with, intended to be gifted for and sent to you for your beloved 70th birthday. I have been delayed due to looking after a dear friend post ankle surgery for 2 1/2 months until last fortnight. Now last week she has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and needs my help for a while soon. So as much as I’m trying to finish this project for you there will be a delay some what, but I am trying. But I have sent as a heartfelt blessing for Her Majesty the Queen and your Royal family Summer and Autumn crossword booklets this year. I pray your family enjoys these puzzles at leisure. It’s my way of saving the world!! . Yes! With puzzles!.
    One has an ongoing illness with small challenges to deal with daily life can be distant, complicated and often lonely.
    God bless you always Your Royal Highness Prince of Wales. Please know that you are always appreciated somewhere in this fragile world of ours. Ephesians 6. 11-18 .Keep us in hope for a better world for the good works of the people to complete for us.

    Yours in Christ


  4. Hope you had a wonderful day of celebrations yesterday
    . Feel reassured many people think the world of you because you think the world of people. Aghast you have been so very busy over the years. Like others I’m glad you didn’t sit around on government befits complaining about interfering adverts ( tongue in cheek) while watching tv..
    Bless you in everyway YRH Prince of Wales. You are a kind gentleman who is diplomatic at the worse of times. Ugh the media always surprising us as a public menace ? I am sending you a gift soon and hope you like it It’s easy and light to read. My art book of tongue in cheek drawings. Lots of best wishes from Australia.

    Psalm 27

  5. Please donate to us in our course to stop illegal economic migration across the dangerous waters

  6. Dear Prince Charles: Happy Birthday, Sir.

    We were born the same year and therefore I have had the privilege of following your exploits with great interest, as far back as I can remember.

    Your humble servant,

    Alistair Beaton – Vancouver, Canada

  7. Happy B Day HRH. Come celebrate it here in LA (Los Angeles) with us
    The climate here is amazing, and so is the weather.
    Hope to see you and Camilla here soon

  8. camilla bought spain! 😂

  9. Happy birthday Charles,it’s just a common birthday like past years.take it
    Will live to a very advanced age just like your parents. I love you.Christy in Sanya,China

  10. Jean-Marc Bouvier

    I am the genetic King of United Kingdom and I wishing you happy birthday.
    Jean-marc Bouvier

  11. Congratulations on your 70th your looking dam fine sire

  12. Happy Birthday HRH Prince Charles,
    Wishing you a wonderful birthday, from New Zealand.
    You are a remarkable man, sensible, have achieved an amazing amount of good work with your charities and will be honoured in infimy.
    May you have a prosperity and continued good health and wish you all the joy in the world.
    Yours faithfully,
    Claire Edwards
    Hamilton, New Zealand

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