“Happy Birthday to One, Happy Birthday to One, Happy 70th Birthday His Royal Highness, Happy Birthday to One!”
70 years old today, or 18 with 52 years worth of experience. It really does feel strange to be well and truly past retirement age without actually starting work yet. One’s entire life has been “your application is being processed”. Bloody hell, time flies when you’re royal.
One told Camilla not to get anything too expensive for one’s birthday, so she bought Spain, which was nice. After all, it’s the thought that counts. William and Harry surprised one with a stripper hidden inside a giant cake, although one wishes they’d said something before cutting it with a sword.
At 1pm today, the Honourable Artillery Company Regiment completed a 62 gun salute at the Tower of London to celebrate the occasion. This was swiftly followed by 6,200 cannons aimed at the Brexit cabinet meeting at Downing Street.
It seems the older you become, the fewer birthday cards you get. One has only received a modest amount this year. 32,450 to be exact. Thankfully, Royal Mail have had 364 days to deliver them. Despite the reduction, it’s still very humbling to receive best wishes from all seven continents of the globe. Royalty from across the continent, figureheads, Wallace and Gromit (Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn), members of the general public, and the stars of music, stage, and screen annually send their birthday messages. One even receives a card from Moonpig, or Katie Price as she’s better known.
Pope Francis never forgets to send a card on special occasions, with a verse from the Bible handwritten inside. Have sent him a copy of one’s book, just in case he’s running out of new material.
One would like to thank you all for the birthday wishes on Twitter and Facebook,