Category Archives: General

Land of Soap and Glory – Coronavirus

“We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in self-isolation, we shall fight with face masks and soap, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing viruses in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost to the NHS may be. We shall fight on the London underground, we shall fight over the remote control, we shall fight in the supermarkets and in the streets, we shall fight in the takeaways; we shall never surrender to Coronavirus” – says a country that fell apart with mass hysteria when KFC ran out of chicken. Continue reading

The 5th of November, 2014

“Remember, remember, the fifth of November, something about treason, blah, blah”.

In 1605, Guy Fawkes was captured in the cellars underneath the Houses of Parliament, surrounded by barrels of gunpowder and ten packets of multicoloured sparklers, with a match in one hand, trying to convince everyone that he’d just come to check the underground plumbing.

After being subjected to continuous singing by the Cheryl Fandango-Vasectomy equivalent of 1606, he confessed his sins. Found guilty, he was hung, drawn, and quartered; the penalty at the time for high treason prior to ASBOs. Continue reading

Wimbledon

The yearly tennis competition that decides whether Andy Murray is British or Scottish. Although after the independence referendum, he could be permanently Scottish whether he wins or loses. Continue reading

Doctor Who and the Daleks

Royal visit to Wales. One initally thought one was visiting a little town called Llanthwgcyrigabreth before realising the tour guide had a hair in his mouth.  Continue reading

Bieber Diva

Justin Bieber arrived in the capital for his O2 Arena tour. He’ll never know how close he came to having a tour of the Tower of London dungeons, let alone the O2 Arena. Continue reading