The 5th of November, 2014

“Remember, remember, the fifth of November, something about treason, blah, blah”.

In 1605, Guy Fawkes was captured in the cellars underneath the Houses of Parliament, surrounded by barrels of gunpowder and ten packets of multicoloured sparklers, with a match in one hand, trying to convince everyone that he’d just come to check the underground plumbing.

After being subjected to continuous singing by the Cheryl Fandango-Vasectomy equivalent of 1606, he confessed his sins. Found guilty, he was hung, drawn, and quartered; the penalty at the time for high treason prior to ASBOs.

The British public have become quite fond of the Gunpowder Plot, and it is annually celebrated on 5th November with a bang (not literally, Harry). This is the one night of the year when the whole of the UK comes together with bonfires and fireworks in commemoration of the last time the British Government actually found weapons of mass destruction.

There really is no better way for Britain to recover  from the financial recession than burning millions of pounds’ worth of fireworks at Westminster, although one isn’t entirely sure if the yearly celebrations are for Guy Fawkes getting caught, or at least having a go.

One has provided some essential safety tips for you to observe:

Bonfire Safety

These, and other life-saving tips can be found in one’s new guidebook.


One response to “The 5th of November, 2014

  1. It’s hard to come by educated people about this topic,
    but you sound like you know what you’re talking about!

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