One’s letter to Prince George

Dear Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge,

Welcome to the British Royal Family. You kept the whole world waiting, but then that is one of the privileges. Many people would kill to become part of the monarchy, and they have done in the past. One will read you a bedtime story about Great-Uncle Henry Tudor and Great-Uncle Richard III when you’re old enough to understand.

Royal blood is a high price commodity. It is so important that your ancestors used to marry within the family to keep the Royal bloodline pure. However, this rule has been rather relaxed in the past couple of generations, and one is certain that you’ll get to know the Middleton family rather well in the coming years. They’re a nice bunch really (in small doses).

Meet your new Royal Family:

Prince William and Kate (Mummy and Daddy) – Lovely couple. Don’t be surprised to see that you’ve got more hair than your Daddy. He wants to grow old gracefully.

Prince Harry (Uncle) – Well loved by everyone. Sometimes forgets he’s a member of the Royal Family, which is why common people love him.

Prince Charles and Camilla (Grandpa and Step Nanny) – Grandpa just can’t wait to be King. Camilla has been busily knitting you some clothes, as another naked Royal in the newspapers is the last thing one needs.

Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip (Great Nanny and Great Grandad) – An old married couple. Great Nanny wears a crown covered in jewels, which might look like an giant iced gem to you. She is obsessed with corgis, horses, gin and ridiculous hats. Great Grandad might come across as slightly racist and rude, but just smile and nod. Most people do anyway.

The Rules of Royalty:

  1. Everything the light touches, is our Kingdom. Except the shadowy place, that’s Essex.
  2. The British Empire ended in 1997, but don’t tell the rest of the world. It keeps them all in check.
  3. You should never be referred to as ‘Boy George’, simply because you are a Future King, and not a Queen.
  4. Never, under any circumstances, take fashion advice from Beatrice and Eugenie.
  5. Don’t listen to music by Justin Bieber or One Direction, purely because it’s an Act of Treason.
  6. Stay away from Las Vegas.

One day in the future, when Grandpa and Daddy are pushing up daisies, you will be crowned King of 16 sovereign states, Head of the 54-member Commonwealth of Nations, Supreme Governor of the Church of England and Defender of the Faith.

One wishes you good health and a happy life.

Love always,

Grandpa ~Charles_HRH~ (Future King)

This letter and much more can be found in Charles_HRH’s guide to Great Britishness.

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21 responses to “One’s letter to Prince George

  1. Absolutely priceless.

  2. It’s not Uncle Edward you need to worry about. It’s dastardly Ambitious free loading Uncle Andrew!!! Take care! Beware!!!!!

  3. Nice post, I enjoy this blog!

  4. Why does nobody want Essex….

  5. Very clever.

  6. a beautiful letter. if Lady D is around she too, will proud of u. pls get her blessing u will b a great king. THE PRESSURE OF GROWING UP AS A ROYAL BABY, SON, GRANDSON AND HEIR TO THRONE IS IMMENSE ANYWAY U CAN DO IT.

  7. All so drearily predictable.

  8. by the time prince george is your age “monty pie fun” will be a 100 years old ,lets hope HRH GR VII has a good sense of humour,, Prince William solvent with Kitty & prince harry now the man from uncle a ray of light is shining over the royal house hold ,,bearing in mind HRH goerge is also a Spencer ,re born from the spirit ,, in my mind a true treasure within the family

  9. How wonderful you are. Long live the Royal Family and God bless you!

  10. Great words of wisdom.

  11. Hasina Harimirantsoa R.

    I adore You HRH.

  12. I would be very cautious around your great uncle Edward. He’s not fooling anybody!

  13. A lovely welcome to the Royal world.

  14. So sweet 🙂

  15. A fine letter to ones first Grandchild. All in all, you’ve said everything! I’m sure he will treasure this letter in years to come! Keep the Republicans at bay, and I’m positive we will have many more happy, funny Royal years ahead! Keep the gin flowing! Toodlepip!

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