Absolutely sodding freezing. Might import some sunshine from Cyprus, who appear to be having a half price sale at the moment.
David Miliband phoned to say he’s leaving the Labour Party to spend less time with his family. He’s decided to join an organisation called International Rescue. From one bunch of puppets to another. He really must’ve pulled a few strings to land that job.
One assumes he found it very difficult losing to his younger brother, especially one who is often mistaken for Mr Bean. The Labour Party had a quick whip-round for a leaving do to cheer him up a bit. Think he enjoyed himself.
Received a text saying that Abu Qatada’s deportation attempt had been lost allowing him to stay in the UK. What part of “tell him to sling his hook” don’t they understand? If one can deport Justin Bieber for crimes against music, then this moron should be no problem.
Seriously tempted to ignore the Court of Appeal and stick him on the next plane anyway. Very confident that we’d have plenty of volunteers to give him a hand packing.
Have locked him in the Tower of London for the time being with Justin Bieber ‘singing’ on loop. One has every confidence that he’ll soon be begging to leave.