Dear President Trump,
Congratulations on becoming the 45th President of the United States of America. 9/11 is a date the world will never forget, and now 11/9 has its own special place in history. On that day America trumped, and the rest of the world followed through.
It does feel slightly unfair how you can become President with no political background, and yet one needs a Masters Degree, with at least 70+ years experience for an entry-level job, but let’s not mention that.
Have you tried turning the United States of America off, and on again? #ElectionNight— King Charles III (parody) (@Charles_HRH) November 9, 2016
The UK was quite confident in having the winning hand in ‘Worst Political Decision of 2016’ with the Brexit situation, until the USA succeeded by playing their trump card.
2016 was a strange year, with too many celebrity deaths, Great Britain voting out of the European Union, Leicester City winning the Premiership, Taylor Swift being in a relationship for at least three months, and you becoming President. If Ed Balls won Strictly Come Dancing, and Honey G won The X Factor, one would’ve had no alternative but to ask for some divine intervention in restoring Earth to its factory settings.
One would like to offer you some words of advice in your new position:
- Stay clear of grassy knolls. Dallas, Texas, in particular.
- Avoid going to the theatre.
- Keep your fingers away from the nuclear weapons button, mainly because we don’t know where they’ve been.
- Melania Trump can avoid future plagiarism accusations by asking Michelle Obama to write her speeches for her.
- Stop creating your policies using the jokes inside Christmas crackers.
- Avoid a potential World War III by not bragging to Kim Jong-un.
- When travelling to other countries, use the Hair Force One – an aerodynamic miracle, as it only has a right wing.
- Think before you tweet.
- No, you cannot rename the country to Trumpland, Trumpton, or the Fourth Reich.
- You’re an Anglophobe, so one seriously suggests you read this book and make the United States Great Britain Again.
~Charles_HRH~ (Future King)
p.s. You might be thinking that one has spelt some words wrong in this letter, but there is no such thing as “American English”. There is ‘English’, and there are mistakes.
p.p.s. Can the last person to leave America please switch off the lights?