One’s letter to President Donald Trump

Dear President Trump,

Congratulations on becoming the 45th President of the United States of America. 9/11 is a date the world will never forget, and now 11/9 has its own special place in history. On that day America trumped, and the rest of the world followed through.

It does feel slightly unfair how you can become President with no political background, and yet one needs a Masters Degree, with at least 70+ years experience for an entry-level job, but let’s not mention that.


The UK was quite confident in having the winning hand in ‘Worst Political Decision of 2016’ with the Brexit situation, until the USA succeeded by playing their trump card.

2016 was a strange year, with too many celebrity deaths, Great Britain voting out of the European Union, Leicester City winning the Premiership, Taylor Swift being in a relationship for at least three months, and you becoming President. If Ed Balls won Strictly Come Dancing, and Honey G won The X Factor, one would’ve had no alternative but to ask for some divine intervention in restoring Earth to its factory settings.

One would like to offer you some words of advice in your new position:

  1. Stay clear of grassy knolls. Dallas, Texas, in particular.
  2. Avoid going to the theatre.
  3. Keep your fingers away from the nuclear weapons button, mainly because we don’t know where they’ve been.
  4. Melania Trump can avoid future plagiarism accusations by asking Michelle Obama to write her speeches for her.
  5. Stop creating your policies using the jokes inside Christmas crackers.
  6. Avoid a potential World War III by not bragging to Kim Jong-un.
  7. When travelling to other countries, use the Hair Force One – an aerodynamic miracle, as it only has a right wing.
  8. Think before you tweet.
  9. No, you cannot rename the country to Trumpland, Trumpton, or the Fourth Reich.
  10. You’re an Anglophobe, so one seriously suggests you read this book and make the United States Great Britain Again.


~Charles_HRH~ (Future King)

p.s.   You might be thinking that one has spelt some words wrong in this letter, but there is no such thing as “American English”. There is ‘English’, and there are mistakes.

p.p.s.   Can the last person to leave America please switch off the lights?

13 responses to “One’s letter to President Donald Trump

  1. Very funny and clever

  2. Future king? You sure?

  3. just keep them all in there own country Australia the Christian people don’t won’t then can’t trust them send them all back prince Charles needs to see a councler he is brain dead

  4. Love this!!!

  5. Charles you obviously do not like trump because he’s not a nice man maybe you should look closer to home . I’ve heard that you’ve taken on Katrina Farquhar as your PA I would check you have taken on somebody who’s got less credibility than a snake She cost me my life saving for friendship Charles whatch your back she cost Sheridans a fortune ask sago how breaking every rule in the book she’s managed to cost this village the opportunity to have a top of the range burger van

  6. One must congratulate HRH for his excellent missive.
    One has popped over from fattymcupcakes to pay a visit to this place of mirth. One is amused 🙂

  7. I love it!

    Trump, his supporters and his crew are an EMBARRASSEMENT to America!

  8. Trump will deregulate the EPA, allow pollution to soar, poison the air, water and land. Keystone XL and Dakota pipelines will go full speed and oil will make even farming land black with soot and aquifer undrinkable. But who needs food and water. There is oil. Welcome to America…land of the doomed.

  9. Good one.

  10. Christine Cosser

    Great humor!! Proud to be a Daughter of the British Empire.

  11. For get back a all natural Earth first each one have to choice the minimum well or the medium well or the maximum well permanently and definitively.
    You or me or together doing offer this choice one by one Earth citizen in private and in public.
    Jean-Marc Bouvier
    Actuel genetic King of United Kingdom

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