Category Archives: Letters

One’s letter to President Donald Trump

Dear President Trump,

Congratulations on becoming the 45th President of the United States of America. 9/11 is a date the world will never forget, and now 11/9 has its own special place in history. On that day America trumped, and the rest of the world followed through. Continue reading

One’s letter to Princess Charlotte

Dear Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge,

Congratulations, you have just been born a Royal subject, On Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix, and have therefore won life’s lottery. Continue reading

One’s letter to Putin

Dear President Putin,

Yesterday, it was reported that one compared you to the most evil man in world history, Adolf Hitler, who would annex countries surrounding Germany for himself. You may refer to this as window shopping. Continue reading

One’s letter to Prince George

Dear Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge,

Welcome to the British Royal Family. You kept the whole world waiting, but then that is one of the privileges. Many people would kill to become part of the monarchy, and they have done in the past. One will read you a bedtime story about Great-Uncle Henry Tudor and Great-Uncle Richard III when you’re old enough to understand. Continue reading

One’s letter to Kim Jong-un

Dearest Leader of North Korea,

This is a letter from someone who is deeply concerned about your recent actions.

One can understand the frustration that your career has taken a downward spiral since appearing in The Hangover films. It surely isn’t helping your already deflated self-esteem that the South Korean, PSY, has taken over the YouTube charts, and launched a totally-idiotic new dance phenomenon. Continue reading

One’s letter to Pope Francis I

Dear Jim Bowen Jorge Mario Beergoggles Pope Francis I,

One would like to extend many congratulations on your election as the new head of the Catholic Church. Of course, this isn’t the first time an Argentinian has won through the hand of God. Continue reading