Dear Prince Louis Arthur Charles of Cambridge,
By the highest odds imaginable, you have avoided being conceived within an artificial sovereign family such as the Kardashians or the Beckhams, and have leapfrogged to the covetable position of 5th in line* to the throne of the British Royal Family.
*And do trust one when I say, it’s a bloody slow moving line.
Kate (your mummy) was expecting a very long labour process. Judging by one’s own experience, it normally takes 68+ years before the crowning begins, but you were delivered in no time at all. With your birth, Prince William (your daddy) has become a father for the third time. He needs all the heir he can get.
By being born Royal you’ve automatically qualified for certain perks of the job which includes fabulous wealth, privileged lifestyle, a university placement and free unlimited downloads from iTunes. Soon you’ll also be given your very own silver spoon. There are many silver spoons like it, but this one is ours.
As the youngest member of the family, you will receive obligatory hand-me-downs from Prince George (your big brother), like his collection of 12th Century suits of armour, and the county of Cambridge.
Your arrival has bumped Prince Harry (your uncle) down to 6th place in the Royal succession list, but one is certain we can avoid a ‘Lion King situation’. However, Princess Charlotte (your slightly bigger sister) has become the first female Royal not to lose her place in the line of succession to a younger male heir (you). Unlucky.
Grandpa ~Charles_HRH~ (Future King)