One’s 66th Birthday

“Happy Birthday to one, happy birthday to one, happy birthday one’s Royal Highness, happy birthday to one!”


66 years old today. Bloody hell, time flies when you’re royal. It does feel strange to be well and truly past retirement age without actually starting work yet.

Camilla woke one up this morning with a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea. As Anne Boleyn used to say, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. One told her not to get anything too expensive for one’s birthday, so she’s bought Spain, which was nice. After all, it’s the thought that counts.

William and Harry surprised one with a stripper hidden inside a giant cake, although one wishes they’d said something before cutting it with a sword.

It seems the older you become, the less birthday cards you get. One has only received a modest amount this year. 32,450 to be exact. Thankfully, Royal Mail have had 364 days to deliver them. Despite the reduction, it’s still very humbling to receive best wishes from all seven continents of the globe. Royalty, figureheads, members of the general public, Stevie Wonder, and the stars of music, stage, and screen annually send their birthday messages. One even receives a card from Moonpig, or Katie Price as she’s better known.

Also received a giant card this afternoon from someone one doesn’t recognise. Who on Earth is Kim Kardashian? There’s a lovely photo of herself printed on the front, but unfortunately one had to send it back, as it had a big crack on it.

Pope Francis never forgets to send a card on special occasions, with a verse from the Bible handwritten inside. Have sent him a copy of one’s new book, just in case he’s running out of new material.

One would like to thank you all for the birthday wishes on Twitter and Facebook,


3 responses to “One’s 66th Birthday

  1. Happy Birthday from Sunny South Africa.

  2. Unsere Hoheit beglückwünsche Ich unseren Prinzen Charles of Wales.
    Alles Gute und viel Gesundheit.

  3. …Dear my Mayesty, they best Wishes for your Birthday …and not forget with 66 will begin the life first…your one is laughing of all you talk…

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