Dear President Putin,
Yesterday, it was reported that one compared you to the most evil man in world history, Adolf Hitler, who would annex countries surrounding Germany for himself. You may refer to this as window shopping.
Russia has suggested the comparison is “completely unacceptable of the Royal Family”; although it’s slightly ironic considering they murdered theirs in 1918. One is simply stating fact after your recent actions, and can completely understand how sensitive you are. After all, the truth hurts.
The great thing about British democracy is freedom of speech. The comment in question was made during a private conversation, off the cuff. Some nations arrest people who speak their minds and have them executed, but one isn’t going to name names.
In future, one will have to stick to the usual British Royal chit-chat of talking about the weather and “have you come far?”. One will also try harder to remember that one is representing Queen Elizabeth II, and not Prince Philip.
~Charles_HRH~ (Future King)
P.S – Camilla says not to grow a moustache, as it would make you look older.
P.P.S – The Russian Embassy have been phoning Clarence House all day. One can only assume that they’re trying to track your recent order of Snickers. Make sure you eat some when they arrive; you know what happens when you’re hungry.