Justin Bieber arrived in the capital for his O2 Arena tour. He’ll never know how close he came to having a tour of the Tower of London dungeons, let alone the O2 Arena.
His 4 night shows suffered more problems than Europe. The first night he appeared late on stage, 10:30pm, which made it well past his bedtime. Mr Cameron took his daughter to the concert that night. Says “the first 2 hours were brilliant, then some whiny little sod came on”. Awkward.
The next night he collapsed with breathing difficulties. Camilla seems to think he could be pregnant. That’s technically impossible, as he hasn’t started puberty yet.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, he then has a fight with paparazzi. Watched a video of the argument on the news. One initially thought his voice had finally broken before realising they were playing it back in slow motion.
“Justin Bieber threatened a photographer in London. The poor man’s recovering from a burst bladder after pissing himself laughing”.
Have deported the spoilt brat to the next part of his tour. He phoned to say he “won’t be coming back to the UK in a hurry”.
Well played, Great Britain. Job done.